80 Questions

Some days, I think the most exhausting thing about being a stay-at-home-parent is thinking up answers to all the questions the kids ask all day long (yes, I am an introvert). So, I thought it might be interesting to keep track of all the questions the kids asked me in a day. I picked yesterday, a Sunday, to keep track even though I was out of the house for a few hours, and even though Husband’s parents were in town. It seemed less daunting a task than trying to track the questions all day on a day I am here by myself with the kids.

I recorded only those questions addressed directly to me, and not those questions called out into the parent-sphere for anyone who might be willing to answer. With one exception (you'll see why), I did not include what I call the reserving-the-frequency questions: “Mom?” (long pause) “Mom?” (longer pause) "Mom, can I ask you a question?" (pause, pause, pause) “Mom?” (long pause; child finally gets around to asking question).

And now, beginning at 5:15 a.m.:

1. Can I go to kbears.com?
2. What’s the Ides of March?
3. Why did they kill him?
4. Did even his army think that?
5. And then can I go to kbears.com?
6. Can I turn up the temperature on one of those thermoblasters?
7. You almost done?
8. Am I old enough for those Halls cough drops?
9. Can I go to kbears.com now?
10. Can I wear your bathrobe?
11. Why didn’t Joe or Frank say “There won’t be a next time!”?
12. Can me and The Bean watch TV?
13. Are we goin’ at Dodge Nature?
14. Then we come home?
15. Can we go to McDonald’s?
16. Can we go to Challenge Hill?
17. What is that goose doing on the roof?
18. How do I get down?
19. Are his eyes open?
20. Can I have a cheeseburger with a bun?
21. Do I just say “cheeseburger”?
22. Where’s my 'nother doggie?
23. Know what this is?
24. Doesn’t it look like the ship the orange droid was on in the Clone Wars?
25. Where’s Daddy?
26. Where’s Grandmom?
27. Can I have some gum?
28. Can I have a Starbur? (Sister’s word for Starburst)
29. This wood floor?
30. Do you know why they call me Lobster Man?
31. Can I have an afternoon sweet?
32. Where is my derby car?
33. Why can’t I just wear a snowsuit?
34. Can I wear my clothes over my greenie-suit?*
35. Is Dad going out?
36. Can I wear my green Crocs?
37. What is this called?
38. Can you believe it was a robot car wash?
39. How about a family basketball game?
40. Where’s Dad?
41. Can we use this ball?
42. Can I say what our team is going to be named?
43. Where are my sunglasses?
44. Where’s the blood?
45. Why did I never get to sit next to Grandmom the whole time she was here?
46. Do you know where my private pack of gum is?
47. Then can I have a Tootsie Roll?
48. Why can’t I have one?
49. Have they left?
50. Do you know where Grandmom is?
51. Can we please have a movie night just with a movie we already have?
52. Can I have a snack?
53. Why can’t you get it for me?
54. Where is my race car greenie-suit?
55. Can I turn on the TV now?
56. I’m not a Muggle - know why?
57. May I be excused to get more nachos?
58. Did I eat enough to get dessert?
59. May I be excused?
60. This enough?
61. Can I sit on your lap?
62. Can we build a big cuddle spot out of blankets?
63. Can you turn the light off?
64. Can we have waters?
65. Can I go to kbears.com?
66. Can you sing me a song?
67. What’s that book?
68. Is that the book he wrote?
69. How old are they?
70. Can you read me one of the ones that is closest to a complete poem?
71. Can I have more water?
72. What month?
73. Who’s Toot?
74. Why did he call his grandma Toot?
75. Will you sing me Wheel in the Water Go ‘Round?
76. Will you rub my back little while?
77. Will you check on me?
78. Will Daddy check on me?
79. What if I get scared?

And, finally, the perfect question with which to end the day at 8:23 p.m.:

80. Mom? Oh, never mind.


* greenie-suit: a technical term used by our children to describe footed pajamas (long story).